I have a friend who recently lost her daughter in a car accident. Having lost my own daughter suddenly I can only have empathy for the months ahead of my friend. I am trying to think of words I can say that would help her through the upcoming months.

Going through the process of grieving drains all of your energy and will. It’s hard to get out of bed. Doing ordinary things like brushing your teeth, getting dressed takes herculean effort, let alone taking care of your family and socializing.

When I was grieving I began to realize I could become stuck in the abyss of apathy. What could I do to help myself through it all? I adopted a “Just show up” rule. Even if I didn’t feel like getting dressed, “just show up”. Even if I didn’t feel like doing things for the family, “just show up.”Even if I didn’t want to go to the family Thanksgiving or Christmas, “just show up” and I did. The benefit for me was that when I did “just show up” I found myself doing and participating far more than I thought I could or would.

I have now moved beyond the abyss of apathy and procrastination but I am still using the “just show up” rule for tasks I really don’t want to do like going to the health club or doing ornery jobs. Try “just showing up” and you will be surprised at the positive results it can produce in your life. My prayers are for my friend and her family. I wish for her the ability to “just show up” and God speed through her grieving.